Sheet Happens Prep
January 24, 2013

-------WEIRD NEWS-------

Crocodiles Converge on South African Town. The South African army has been called in to help control thousands
of crocodiles that escaped from a farm in Lim-pop-o. Sky News reports more than 15,000 of the deadly reptiles were
accidentally sprung from the Rock-weena Crocodile Farm earlier this week when flooding forced the farm’s owners to
open the floodgates. Although about 7,500 of the crocs have since been recaptured, the rest remain at large – turning
up in places like school rugby fields and outdoor shopping centers. The crocodile infestation is the latest setback for
South African residents, who have been dealing with floods that have killed 10 people and left hundreds homeless.
In one case, rescuers were dispatched to save a family that had climbed onto the roof of their garage to escape the
rising waters. “When we arrived there, the crocodiles were circling them,” one of the rescuers says. “Before, there were
only a few crocodiles in the Lim-pop-o River. Now there are plenty – everywhere.” So far, no crocodile-related deaths or
injuries have been reported.

Fart Smells Sickens Europeans. Thousands of people in England and France have been left holding their noses
after a chemical leak yesterday morning left parts of b
oth countries smelling like a bad fart. According to Sky News,
England’s emergency services have been flooded with calls from grossed-out residents who wanted to know why their
towns smelled like a bunch of people had simultaneously cut the cheese. By the end of the day, more than 100,000
phone calls had been received – and the emergency phone center is set up to handle only 10,000 a day.
The good news is the stench isn’t harmful
. A statement released by Sussex police reads, “The smell is from an additive
to the gas which has an unpleasant aroma but is not toxic. There is no danger to the public.” A spokesman for the
chemical company that’s responsible for the leak said the horrible odor will likely fade throughout the day, and will
probably be gone by the end of the week. Until then, thousands of disgusted Europeans are going to have to
their gag reflexes and
deal with it.

Buenos Aires Batman Unmasked. After fighting crime for more than two years, Argentina’s answer to Batman has
been unmasked. Buenos Aires law enforcement officials have revealed the masked vigilante is Oscar Leh-foss-ee, a 43-
year-old retired police officer. For the past two years, Leh-foss-ee has been known as “Men-ganno,” a vigilante who
fights crime wearing a blue mask and body armor. However, unlike Batman, this would-be superhero carries a gun …
and that’s what got him into trouble. Yesterday, police filed charges against Leh-foss-ee for firing an unregistered Glock
pistol from his car. Leh-foss-ee claims the bad guys shot at him first; and to prove it, he posted a photo on Facebook
that shows several bullet holes in his car’s windshield. But a police spokesman, who questions Leh-foss-ee’s story, says
all the shots were fired from inside the vehicle. “He could have killed somebody, an innocent bystander,” the
spokesman says. “He is irresponsible.”

-------LIFESTYLE NEWS-------

Bad News for Female Smokers. A woman’s risk of dying from smoking has reached an all-time high – and it’s
continuing to rise. That’s according to the American Cancer Society, which on Thursday revealed research that shows
the risk of dying of smoking-related lung cancer is now just as great for women as it is for men. What’s more is the risk
for men leveled off in the 1980s and hasn’t changed since – but the risk for women has continued to rise and may soon
pass men. Researchers blame the spike on the fact that women start smoking at a younger age and smoke more than
they used to. Currently, about 35 million U.S. residents smoke – 20% of which are men and 18% of which are women.

New Smoking Stats from the American Cancer Society:

  • Compared to a smoker, a person who never smoked is about twice as likely to live to age 80.
  • U.S. smokers are three times more likely to die between the ages of 25 and 79 than are non-smokers.
  • Women are far less likely to quit smoking than men are.
  • Smoking takes about 10 years off an average lifespan. However, quitting between the ages of 25 and 34 can
    give back all 10 years; quitting between 35 and 44 years old can return 9 years; quitting between 45 and 54 can
    earn back 6 years; and quitting between 55 and 64 can reclaim 4 years.

Premarital Sex Isn’t Good Enough. Testing the waters by having sex before marriage isn’t good enough; you need
to talk about sex, too. In a story that aired yesterday on CNN, a group of social psychologists and sex therapists agreed
that early sex can be misleading. “Just because you have good sex, and a lot of it, before marriage doesn't mean it will
be that way for your entire life,” social psychologist Justin Leh-miller says. He notes one partner’s sexual wants and
needs often change at a much faster rate than the other’s – which could result in marital problems, adultery and
divorce. Sex educator Emily Nag-os-kee says to avoid these problems, couples should pose a bunch of “what if?”
scenarios to each other. Her examples: “What if one person’s interest in sex changes a lot?” “What if one of you gets
cancer?” “What if one of you is in a car accident and loses sensation below the waist?”

New Book Exposes Love. A new book that offers a scientific approach to relationships says love isn’t what we think it
is. In “Love 2-point-0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We Feel, Think, Do and Become,” author Barbara
Fred-rick-son presents scientific evidence to show love is not a long-lasting emotion that keeps marriages together.
Instead, it’s a flood of positive emotions that you might share with any person you connect with in the course of a day.
She says it’s not uncommon for someone to fall in love for just a few moments with anyone – a neighbor, a coworker or
even a complete stranger. Fredrickson determined this by studying the levels of certain chemicals in people’s brains,
and how they changed in various situations.

-------CELEBRITY NEWS-------

“Star Wars 7” Gets Director. J.J. Abrams – who directed 2010’s “Star Trek” reboot and its upcoming sequel – has
signed on to helm the long-awaited “Star Wars: Episode VII,” according to The Wrap. The film, which is planned as the
first part of another trilogy, is due to hit theaters in 2015.

The Lindsay/Pauly Hookup. Lindsay Lohan once made out with “Jersey Shore” star Pauly D. That’s according to
former cast member Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, who tells Celebuzz the hookup occurred in 2010, when the cast was
promoting the show’s first season at a Los Angeles nightclub. “She pulled me up to her VIP and she introduced me to
her mother,” Polizzi says. “Her mom is wicked cool. I mean, she was wicked cool. I was dancing with both of them. We
were having a good time.” In fact, they were having such a good time that Lohan started “flirting” with Pauly D., Polizzi
says. The next thing she knew they were locking lips.
Although neither she nor Pauly saw the Lohans again, Polizzi is still quick to defend the troubled actress. “Personally, I
like Lindsay,” she says. “I think she's a fun girl and she's made a few mistakes. And people think she's the devil for it.”

-------CLASSIC ROCK-------

Eagles Member Survives Cancer. Timothy B. Schmit has beaten cancer. That’s the word from the Eagles bass
player, who posted the good news on his official website, “All is good,” Schmit writes. “The brief
synopsis is: I discovered a problem and took care of it; simple as that.” News that Schmit had been diagnosed with
throat and neck cancer broke last November, when the musician underwent surgery in an attempt to eradicate the
cancerous cells. Now given a clean bill of health, Schmit says he’s looking forward to the future. “I love my work, and
plan on doing it for as long as possible,” he says, adding, “I’m way past due in expressing my sincere gratitude for the
outpouring of get well wishes I’ve received.”

Fleetwood Mac Adds More Shows. The members of Fleetwood Mac haven’t even started packing, yet their
upcoming tour is already a success. Rolling Stone reports the ticket demand for “Fleetwood Mac Live 2013” has been
so great that the band has added 13 additional shows to i
ts roster. The new dates include second shows in Chicago,
Boston and Los Angeles, with 10 performances in entirely new cities.

- Fleetwood Mac Live 2013 kicks off April 4th in Columbus, Ohio. Tickets for the new dates go on sale February 1st.

Fleetwood Mac Live 2013 Additional Dates:

  • 6/14 Chicago, IL – Allstate Arena
  • 6/15 Cleveland, OH – Quicken Loans Arena
  • 6/18 Montreal, QC – Bell Center
  • 6/19 Albany, NY – Times Union Center Arena
  • 6/21 Boston, MA – Comcast Center
  • 6/22 Wantagh, NY –Jones Beach Theatre
  • 6/24 Charlotte, NC – Time Warner Cable Arena
  • 6/26 Des Moines, IA – Wells Fargo Center
  • 6/29 Spokane, WA – Spokane Arena
  • 6/30 Portland, OR – Rose Garden Arena
  • 7/3 Los Angeles, CA – Staples Center
  • 7/5 San Diego, CA – Viejas Arena
  • 7/6 Sacramento, CA – Sleep Train Arena

Top 10 Most Annoying Behaviors at Rock Concerts. Going to concerts might be a blast, but admit it – there are
plenty of things that probably annoy you about them, too. Apparently, the editors at Rolling Stone feel the same way –
so they’ve put together a list of the Top 10 Most Annoying Behaviors at Rock Concerts:

1) Taking pictures the entire freaking show
2) Checking e-mail, Facebook and Twitter every couple of minutes
3) Incessantly talking to your friends
4) Yelling out requests
5) Yelling out "Freebird!"
6) Pushing your way to the front
7) Getting so drunk you puke
8) Loudly complaining after the show because the band didn't play your favorite song
9) Filming the entire show on your iPhone
10) Yelling "Sit down!" at people who are standing up

Rush Returns to the Road. Apparently, Rush didn’t get enough of the road during last year’s Clockwork Angels Tour.
The Canadian trio has unveiled plans for a second leg of the tour, set to kick off April 23rd in Austin, Texas. They’ll hit a
total of 8 cities before heading to Europe for a few weeks, after which they’re set to return for another trip around the U.
S. “The fan acceptance of ‘Clockwork Angels’ has been very cool,” lead singer and bassist Geddy Lee t
ells Billboard
. “We're happy to go out and bring it around the globe.” Tickets for the first 8 shows – which, so far, are the
confirmed dates – go on sale January 28th.

The Second Leg of Rush’s Clockwork Angels Tour:

  • 4/23 Austin, TX – Frank Erwin Center
  • 4/26 Ft. Lauderdale, FL – BB&T Center
  • 4/28 Orlando, FL – Amway Center
  • 5/1 Nashville, TN – Bridgestone Arena
  • 5/3 Raleigh, NC – PNC Arena
  • 5/5 Virginia Beach, VA – Farm Bureau Live
  • 5/7 Baltimore, MD – 1st Mariner Arena
  • 5/9 Uncasville, CT – Mohegan Sun
  • 5/11 Atlantic City, NJ – Etess Arena